Perpetual Friendship (1)

Sharing of gifts strengthens love between friends and verily, it functions as an important pillar of a perpetual friendship. Though it seriously requires to define a true meaning of a gift - it contains both the characteristics, material and spiritual. However, the material aspect of the gift functions nothing but to manifest the spiritual essence and love behind the gift. This is what Maula-e-Rum says, 

"The gifts of lovers to one another are in respect of love, naught but forms; (But the purpose is) that the gifts may have borne testimony to feelings of love which are concealed in secrecy, because outward acts of kindness bear witness to feelings of love in the heart, O dear friend"

What actually makes our gifts valuable is only the spiritual essence behind it. Nothing qualifies to be called a "gift" which is void of the spiritual essence, rather, it only qualifies to be called an "interest based loan" which only serves the ephemeral friendship. Moreover, it is only the spiritual essence of the gift that brings the hearts of the friends together, and motivates them to manifest their love in the best way - that's why sometimes our friend's smile is a big gift and blessing for us. Therefore, it establishes that there cannot be any returns of the gifts, because gifts are the manifestations of the spiritual essence and depended and derived through it - we can actually experience the spiritual essence behind the gifts, but cannot actually quantify them, and this is the reason why the exact return is impossible. He is only Allah سبحانه و تعالى Who knows it the best, Who can reward us the best, and there cannot be any better return than the "perpetual friendship"!

"It's never the materialistic value of the real gifts that is important, but the spiritual value of the real gifts, which is immeasurable for any individual."

When the philosophy of the perpetual friendship strengthens in one's mind then he and she loves for his and her friend what he and she loves for himself and herself. Here, it reminds me of the "definiton of a friend" by Imam Zainul Abideen (Rahimahullah), which Imam al -Ghazali (Rahimahullah) quotes in his book "Ihya ul 'Uloomuddin". Imam Zainul 'Abideen (Rahimahullah) asks a person:

"Does any body among you take anything what he wishes after placing his hand in the pocket of his friend or in his purse? The man said: "no". Then he (Rahimahullah) said: Then you are not friends."

However, this seems something impossible, but it is not. The problem lies in our society which trains us to be stingy.

"How can someone expect "an affectionate and supportive society" where everyday individuals are taught lessons of "stinginess""

What we need is to change our mindsets, and consciously think about our relationships. Do we really try to make everyone as our perpetual friend? Everything starts from the self - we cannot blame others when we ourselves are captured behind the fetters of "stinginess". Everything starts from within - we need to propagate by our actions and teachings the message of Spiritual Love. It is then we will love for our friend what we love for ourselves.

"Help my soul to smash out and travel beyond the fetters of this mundane world, bring me a Quaff of Love."

Now, why is the spiritual essence important behind the gifts? why is it important to gift what you love for yourself? Why does inequality prevail in the societies where stinginess exists? What is the cure for stinginess? I would quote a few Ayahs from the Quran to answer these questions, and conclude my this short note:

"And united their hearts. Had you spent all that is on earth, you could not have united their hearts. But Allah did unite their hearts. Surely, He is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (Al-Quran:8:63)

"You shall never attain righteousness unless you spend from what you love. Whatsoever you spend, Allah is fully aware of it." (Al-Quran:3:92)

"[Those] who are stingy and enjoin upon people stinginess. And whoever turns away - then indeed, Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy." (Al-Quran:57:24)


"” And they ask you as to what they should spend. Say, “The surplus”." (Al-Quran:2:219)

I REQUEST  you all to pray for me first to act upon the above teachings. 

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Perpetual Friendship

Everybody likes to make friends and wishes to spend a long time with them. It is not every friendship that lasts for a long time, but only a very few. What actually makes your friendship lasting is the purpose it serves. Moreover, these purposes could differ from person to person, however some people do not even give a thought to it in any way. By now, someone might be thinking about the purpose that could lead to perpetual friendship - perhaps, someone could say, the friendship that lasts only till the last breath of your life is the perpetual friendship, but surely for me this definition doesn't do justice to the term "perpetual friendship", rather it only portrays the ephemeralness of the friendship. Before we go further, I need to share a poetic verse of Dr. Muhammad Iqbal (translation):

"Do not measure life by counting passing days and nights,

Ever young, ever alive, eternal is the font of life."  (Iqbal)

"you have a perpetual bond of friendship with someone only when your friendship does not serve an ephemeral purpose."

Hopefully, by now everyone of you understands what i mean by the term "perpetual friendship". Yes, the friendship that lasts even after your death and a friend who could help you after your death. Here, the true concept of spiritual friendship starts. Everybody does favors for his or her friend till the purpose of his or hers friendship has been achieved. 

"Your friendship serving the perpetual purpose doesn't allow you to count the favors you do for your friend; Rather, it encourages you to give and love him more, and overlook his errors and pray for him."

Now, what the favors could your friend do for you after your death? Who could be that perpetual friend of yours? How could a friend be a true blessing for you? Here, i would just quote an Ayah of the Quran to answer these questions and conclude my this short essay:

"Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous" (Al-Quran:43:67)"